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If you really love your children like you say you do, then you’ll willingly change your lifestyle, behavior, attitude, and friendships, to create the right environment for their proper development.

How much do you love your children? Most parents probably say they love their children more than anything else. But how true is that statement? Answer a few questions and find out.
1.    Do you love your children enough to spend time with them, and by your example, show them the right way to live their lives?
2.    Do you love them enough to abstain from habits and addictions that will lead to personal pain and destruction in the not-so-distant future?
3.    Do you love them enough to swap negative friendships for good ones, so your children will not be subjected to the same downward-cycle of relationships that have kept you from fulfilling your destiny in life?
4.    Do you love your children enough to be faithful to your spouse, and treat her with the love and respect she deserves, so they learn the stability of a righteous home and marriage?

Some of the most destructive influences in childhood development are: negligent or absentee parents, addictive parental examples, negative external relationships (bad friends), and divorce.

We can’t wave a magic wand and make every negative influence go away, but if we work diligently to change the environment within our home, our children’s future will reflect those changes in many positive and rewarding ways. And that’s where love comes into play. If you really love your children like you say you do, then you’ll willingly change your lifestyle, behavior, attitude, and friendships, to create the right environment for their proper development.

Need a few examples? Start here: If your friends are drunks – get new friends. Unless of course, you don’t mind your children growing up to become addicts, as well. Statistics show that children who live under the influence of alcoholism, are likely to become alcoholics themselves. Is that really what you want your children to become? No? Then you better make whatever changes are necessary early one, and stay consistent, if you hope to positively impact their future-lives as adults.

Need more proof? Look at the statistics, and make your own assumptions. Negative relationships lead to destructive social behavior in children.
•    Physically abusive relationships teach your children a lifestyle of destructive or even violent behavior.
•    Unfaithfulness to your spouse will teach your children to be unfaithful to theirs.
•    Parents who lie, cheat and steal, can expect their children to grow up and live by the same shameful rules of engagement.

What’s the secret to parental success? Train your children to do what’s right, to live right, to choose right relationships, to abstain from illicit sexual behavior, and lead them into a right relationship with God. In other worlds; clean up your child’s world, and set the right example, and the outcome will be dramatically different than if you live your life any other way.

Here’s a short checklist that will help you guide your children toward successful adulthood.
•    Clean up your home: make your home child-friendly and kid-safe.
•    Rid their environment of drugs, alcohol, abusive situations and relationships. In other words: You must lose the losers, and fill their life with positive friends and influences – you won’t be sorry you did.
•    Don’t be afraid to tell your children NO. Remember, you’re the parent – so act like one!
•    Don’t be an absentee parent. Be involved in your children’s lives. How can you set the standard by which your children live, if you’re never home? Why have children in the first place, if you don’t want to spend time with them?
•    Here’s some great ideas for interacting with your kids:
1.    Pick a hobby and do it together. When our kids were growing up, we had horses. The motto of the horse crowd was: “Horses – not drugs.”
2.    Have their friends come to your house, instead of shipping your children off to be influenced by people you don’t know. How can you do that? Make your home an inviting place – and let your children’s friends welcome, so they will want to hang out there. Think about it: children get into trouble when they’re left unsupervised. It’s OK to let them hang out at their friends homes, on occasion, but not every day and night. If you want to impact your children, then you need to spend time with them.
3.    Set safeguards for your children, even when they are out of the home. How? Talk to the parents of your children’s friends. Make sure their home is kid-safe, too. It does no good to kid-safe your home, if they are free to do all the wrong things at their friends place. (This is where the “choose friends wisely” suggestion comes into play)
4.    Forget the PTA shuffle. You don’t have to let your children play every night. Teach them responsibility. It’s good for them. Make time for fun, certainly, but not always. What you do with them, is more important than you will ever know. Here’s a few helpful hints: when you have to run errands, pay bills or get groceries, take your children with you, and spend this time engaging them in meaningful conversation.
5.    Don’t leave you children unattended. When you aren’t home, you need to find a good, safe home for them to stay at while you’re away, or take them with you. That’s what we did. We took them along with us when we went places; like grocery shopping, paying bills, etc. Wee found this to be a great time to interact with our children, talk about their lives, and just be the parent. If you have an eye for making the most of every parental opportunity, this can actually be a good one.

Train them to do right – to live right. That’s your responsibility. Start by setting a solid example. You can’t expect your children to become something you’re not. “Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they’re old, they won’t depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 KJV)

A Good Place to Start:
•    Introduce them to a real, life-changing relationship with Jesus Christ. Don’t rob faith from their hearts. Share your living faith with them – so it will guide their life, as it has guided yours.
•    Many parents start well – they take their children to church while they’re young, but when they grow older – and need God the most – parents start living a, altogether different lifestyle, and by doing so, they rob their children of the most important relationship they could ever have – a dynamic friendship with the Lord.
•    Drugs: Starting before your children are even born – make this the habit for your life. Never do drugs, or allow drug use in your family circle. Remember: what children see you and your friends doing, they will grow up doing themselves.
•    Choose the right friends. Never forget; real friends do not verbally, physically, emotionally or sexually abuse you or your children. Do whatever it takes to forever remove such people out of your life. As the parent, it is your responsibility to help your children learn how to select/ choose good friends. Be proactive, stay involved, and help them make right choices early on. You’ll be surprised by how a sound training helps change the outcome of their lives.
•    Safeguard them against Internet pornography and chatroom abuse: The Internet can be a wonderful tool for students, or even a great way to connect socially. But according to stats, the Internet is more likely to become a negative influence in the lives of your children. Listen up parents – never allow your children unsupervised or unfiltered access to the Internet. The solution is simple: Keep the computer in a public living space, or place parentally-selectable filters on your system, to keep your children from EVER entering these domains.

Bottom line: Never forget who is the parent. If you love your children enough, you will do whatever you have to do to protect the innocence of your children – and keep it that way. Whatever you subject your children to: racism, abuse, critical attitudes, addictions, immoral practices (Lying, stealing, cheating, violence, porn); those influences will shape their own lifestyle, forever.

You need to decide, early on, how valuable your children’s success really is to you, and construct a lifestyle that will help them grow into their righteous destiny.

Never forget: there is only one influence in life that has the potential to positively guide your children into adulthood, more than you, and that is a personal relationship with God. That potential will only be realized, however, if you take your rightful place as a parent, and teach them to love Him.

Raising great kids is a challenge, but if you are willing to show them the way, the results will be more rewarding for you, than anything else you could ever do in life.